Unlearning: For Change Agents

Session Three: Unlearning Self-Judgement

When it comes to personal change, modern people often resort to subtle forms of force. The bribes of conditional self-approval, and the threats of self-rejection, leverage a deep insecurity. They might goad us into action for a while, but eventually the spirit rebels against such force-based tactics and we return to the same behavior as before. In this session we explore an alternative that opens the door to change without forcing it, trusting instead a natural evolutive process. This new habit of self-invitation carries over into our work with others and in the world at large.

Invitation: Unlearning Self-Judgement

This week, we turn last session’s judgement fast inward. We notice habits of self-evaluation, justification, self-condemnation, and conditional self-praise, and consciously choose to interrupt those habits for a week. This is not about replacing negative self-judgements with affirmations. This is about taking a break from morally loaded self-judgement altogether. We refrain from both blame and praise, and, free from that fog, we may catch a glimpse of the real origins of our choices.

Session Transcripts

Many thanks to Laura Siegel and Stella Osorojos for transcribing these sessions!

All Session 3 – Unlearning Self-Judgement (transcript)

For Further Exploration

• Letter to My Younger Self
  “Dear self. Your secret, lonely knowledge is true. Despite all you have been told, the world that has been offered to you as normal is anything but normal. It is a pale semblance of the intimacy, connection, authenticity, community, joy and grief that lie just beneath the surface of society’s habits and routines…”(more)

• Hope
  In Chapter 10 of my book, The More Beautiful World our Hearts Know is Possible, I speak of Hope. “Hope has a bad name these days among certain teachers. On the one hand, it seems to suggest wishful thinking that distracts us from a sober assessment of reality and fosters unrealistic expectations….”(more)